It’s been a whirlwind these last few weeks. Just two weeks ago I preached my last sermon at my lovely Norwegian country church in Texas, said a hundred difficult “goodbyes” and then feverishly packed and cleaned and then turned in the keys to our life there. We loaded up all our stuff into two moving vans and started driving north on a sunny Thursday. Our younger son, Jesse, rode in the moving van with me and our older son, Owen, rode with my husband.
It was a long trip, made longer because of the fact that we couldn’t drive very fast as we towed our cars behind each van. Every now and then Jesse would think about his friends he was leaving behind and he would get teary-eyed. These kinds of changes are hard enough for grown-ups who have experienced big changes before and know that we can survive them. For little kids it has to feel like everything is turning upside down. We stopped along the way pretty often and now and then I bought him a little toy to help him pass the time. His only melt-down came after about ten hours of being in the van on our second day when I got him the “happy meal” he had been wanting for the whole trip and he found out that instead of the little transformer toy he had wanted, they had given him a pink My Little Pony. If you want to see a normally good-natured seven year-old slip into godzilla mode, apparently that is a good way to do it.
We arrived late on Friday night and didn’t do much except unload the necessities and slip into bed. The boys didn’t want to be away from us in their new surroundings so in our new parsonage with five bedrooms, we all slept in one room. The next day we got up and some from the church and my brother and sister-in-law and nephews came over to help unload.
My church here in Minnesota is also a little Norwegian church in the country. It is a pretty white, wooden church that has been rebuilt once after a tornado destroyed the original structure in 1925. Today we are having a big rummage sale and a fish dinner which apparently brings in many from the community. I’m glad to be here, glad to be near my family again, glad to experience the traditions of a new church and to share the Good News of Jesus in this place.
But I’ll tell you what few pastors are likely to admit – that the ghosts of one’s former congregation and of one’s life in their midst stay very near for a long time. I think tenderly of them and I knew long before God called me back to Minnesota that my heart would linger back in Texas for a good while. I know this is normal. One does not love a congregation with her whole heart and then just shut off those affections overnight. I don’t understand the ways that God’s call to something else can become so strong even at the same time that one’s heart breaks to leave what once was – but I know that I trust the One who calls.
And so tomorrow I’ll step into the pulpit here for the first time and I’ll preach the same Gospel that God has let me preach in New York and Colorado and Texas and now here. I’ll slowly fall in love with this place and these people just as surely as I have loved my other congregations. I’ll do my best, and while that is never enough – with God’s presence in it, it seems to somehow become enough.
But my other truth is this – that there is a piece of my heart that still is resting among the bluebonnets and abiding in the warm breeze in Texas, laughing and crying with my dear ones there. God be with you until we meet again.