I haven’t overcome Fear.
But I have befriended her.
Not right away.
Not for a long, long time.
First, I tried to hush her
Hide her
Hustle her out of the room
Ignore her
Weep over her
Pretend she didn’t exist.
But then
She stayed anyway
Winding her cool fingers through my hair
Crushing me in her arms so tight, too tight…
Whispering into my breath, “listen to me, listen to me, listen to me…”
She was everywhere. All the time.
Reading over my shoulder at the altar
Squeezing into the pulpit right next to me
I couldn’t even see the congregation anymore
She covered me, claimed me, marked me as her own.
While I smiled my smile and worked so hard to wish and pray her away.
Then, one day
I wondered what might happen if
I looked her in the eye.
My companion for so long.
What might happen
If?
So I put my arm around her shoulder
And said, “honey, It’s okay.
I said,
“I see you.”
I said,
“Let’s do this together, then.”
She didn’t look so scary.
In fact, she looked just like me….
and Fear smiled a small smile and seems okay with that now
To quietly stick beside me.
To accompany me here and there.
She doesn’t pull so hard at my shoulders and neck
When I pay attention to her.
Notice her.
Admit she is
Part of me…
But not the boss of me.
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